Sick Cycle Carousel
Well it's been a few days and I feel strong enough to talk about the Mets and their historic fall from grace.
There's a lot to say... is anyone surprised?
First off, to those of you who called or emailed me about my mental and physical health on Sunday... thank you. I handled it MUCH better than I would have expected.
That in itself is a warning sign though... I got (no exaggeration) nineteen phone calls and seven emails between Sunday afternoon and Monday noontime. I guess my passion for this team is so well known by the people I have regular (or even semi-regular) contact with that everyone knew there good odds that I had a breakdown, hi-jacked a dump truck, climbed a water tower and went all Charles Whitman on central Centereach.
As I stated in previous posts, I have often taken this shit WAY too seriously... and I admit I had no less than three major meltdowns in the last two weeks of the baseball season. The night they blew two seperate three tun leads to the Marlins (including one in the bottom of the ninth) was a particuarly violent and... um... energetic outburst.
Which made me take a loooong and serious look in the mirror. In no way is a baseball game ever going to be important enough in life to elict that sort of reaction.
I actually handled the last weekend very well. At that point I realized how shot the bullpen was and that even if they had gotten into the playoffs, odds are that their pitching would not have held up enought to get very far.
So... first off, YES I am still a Mets fan... despite my black humor spouted in frustration about changing teams, there is no way this would ever happen. I bleed blue -n- orange and always will.
Second, I do NOT think this team is shot and done as presently constructed. No major overhall is needed. They do not have to rip apart the team and start with 65% new players. Changes must be made... yes. Some more drastic than others, but the main part of the should stay mostly intact. (I will get into more detail in a minute).
Third, I do not think Willie Randolph should be fired despite my insistance over the last three weeks that he should be. Getting past my initial anger... I think Willie is a good manager overall who really needs to learn how to manage a bullpen better (but hey, Joe Torre never learned and look where he's gotten the last eleven years) and he deserves a shot to lead this team next year.
This year should have never been in doubt. The team should have basically wrapped up the division back in July like they did last year. The problem was that except for the month of April and that little 12 game run or so right after the four-game sweep by Philly in Philly, there seemed to be very little urgancy to this team. They seemed to think they were so good that the division was a foregone conclusion. Well, you see what that got them. They seemed to believe their own press. Rarely is that a good thing.
The funny thing is... the Mets did not deserve to make the playoffs because of their horrible 5 -12 record down the stretch, but in reality, this team was still the best in the NL. They could/should have won 95 games or so and really could have cut through the NL Pennant rather easily.
Could've/should've. All twisted in the wind are our shattered dreams of could've/should've.
So, yeah... this team had a busload of talent... but like the teams of the eighties that finished in second place 5 out of 7 years, talent isn't enough.
As much as I freaking HATE the %#$@&^! Phillies, that team played with heart and grit and looked a LOT like last years Mets team.
That's what this year's team was missing for a huge chunk of the season. Heart and grit.
They need that back. They need to realize that you cannot turn it on and off like a switch. Maybe the Yankees of the late Nineties could, but hey... they won four freaking World Series in five years.The Mets? They have won nothing but one division and one playoff series since 2000. They have no basis acting like the top dog.
Woof, freaking woof.
The main problem with being a Mets fan (and what this season was an epitomy of) is that nasty, creeping, nagging feeling that things are about to go belly up and in the worst way possible. It's rare (ie: 1969, 1986) that a season goes just perfect. Even excellent seasons like 1988, 1999, 2000 and 2006 eneded in disapointment in the playoffs. The 1999 (which was really a better team than the 2000 squad that made it to the World Series) and 2006 teams were both great teams that really had the ability (and should have) won it all.
As a Mets fan I've fallen victim to many near misses. 1984, 1985, 1987, 1989, 1990, 1998, and 2001 all were years the Mets were right there... the playoffs in their grasp, only for it to slip away at the last moment. 1998 was particuarly bad because the Mets went into the last five games of the season leading the wild card by 1 1/2 games. They lost their final five games of the season against the Montreal Expos at home and the Atlanta Braves on the road. If they had won just ONE of those games, the Mets could have forced a three-way wild card tie. If they had won two, they would have won the wild card outright. Ironic, seeing as how the Expos became the Washington Nationals and the Nationals won 5 out of 6 games at the end of this season (while they then went and lost 4 out of 6 to the Phillies) in helping the Mets complete their collapse.
Even in 1999 the Mets almost blew it. They were swept by Philly in the last two weeks of the season and lost their wild card lead and actually needed the Brewers to take 2 of 3 from the Reds in the last weekend to finish in a tie that forced a one game playoff with Cincinnati for the wild card.
Despite this regular sick cycle of near misses and last minute disasters, I love this team. The Mets are the perpetual underdogs and always will be.
It's never easy with them. Never. Then again, either is life. Why should it be?
That's why when I hear Yankee fans bitching about firing Joe Torre and booing A-Rod and such I want to slap the shit out of them. Yankee fans have NO idea how good they have it. No team in any sport wins as much as the Yankees do. I think Yankee fans should never be allowed to bitch about their team. 26 World Championships and a shit-load of playoff appearances has spoiled their fans. It's also made many of them act like they are better than everyone else just because they follow and root for the Bronx.
Hey, it's fucking EASY to follow and root for a franchise that is always in contention and wins much more often than it loses. Staying a fan of a franchise that usually does NOT win (ie: The Mets, Cubs, and hell, even those lucky as hell Phillies) shows REAL fandom.
Ok. So... this team.
Despite things... I'm not blind. The Mets biggest problem this year was the bullpen which just plain out and out SUCKED the last six to eight weeks of the season, which was a shame because it was so damn good the first half. The inconsitancy in the offense didn't help. The manner of play without urgancy was the other largest problem.
Well, besides Willie's inability to manage the bullpen.
So... what has to change? What MUST happen for next years team to win the division again?
I have ten simple steps.
1 - Give David Wright the "C": No one, and I mean NO ONE on this team was more stand-up and professional than Wright. While guys like Glavine, Alou, Wagner and Lo Duca rarely ducked the media and were willing to give shit to team-mates who under performed or had their head up their asses, Wright was the team spokesman and backbone. He was, without any doubt, the team MVP (and would have been the NL MVP had the Mets won the division, now it will go to Jimmy Rollins or Matt Holiday... God, I hope It's Holiday... I fucking HATE Jimmy Rollins and his arrogant smirking face... I want to smack that fucking grin right off his kisser with a fastball) and he picked up the role at age 24 that guys like Carlos Beltran and Carlos Delgado should have, but never did. He led, by example on and off the field. He is the team leader. Make it offical. Number 5 should be the Mets captain.
2 - Play more small ball: This team lead the majors in steals for the second year in a row. Reyes, Gomez, Chavez, Wright, Beltran, just to name a few, have loads of speed... yes I didn't see ONE squeeze playthis year. Not ONE. Do you know how many times the Mets left runners at third with less than two outs? A lot. Get Reyes to hit the ball on the ground again like he did last year and the beginning of this year. Bunt, steal, move the runners. Create runs. This team is built for it. Imagine the '85 Cardinals just with more home run power. This team should lead the NL in runs easily.
3 - Get Tony Bernazard out of the $&$%#! clubhouse: I'm convinced that Bernazard is a huge problem and creates a gap between Wille and some players and even give some players a more direct line to the GM. He shouldn't be in there. It's Willie's show... step back and let him run it.
4 - Hire Rudy Jaramillo as the hitting coach: Rick Downs wasn't the answer and while the offense did pick up after the Hojo/Rickey show came to town, it was WAY too inconsistant. Jaramillo is the best in the business. He'd be a big key to help players from falling into those maddening cycles where they can't even do the basics like hitting a fly ball to drive in a run at third with less than two outs.
5 - Make sure Ambiorix Burgos and Duaner Sanchez are healthy by spring training: Kill the Brian Bannister trade all you want, but no one was screaming when that trade was made. In fact, many people were saying the Mets had way too many pitchers like Bannister in Maine, Perez, Pelfry, etc... I was sorry we went... I liked him... but I was also excited about the potential of Burgos in the bullpen. Burgos, Sanchez, Filiciano, Hielman and Wagner is a pretty damn good bullpen if everyone is healthy. With Sosa as a long relief guy and one more new arm (Scott Linebrink? Jeremy Affeldt? How about taking a chance on Kerry Wood?) in the bullpen I honestly believe the relief corps will be in pretty good shape.
6 - Let the following go: Tom Glavine - It's obvious he was pining for Atlanta to finish his career. He was a good guy for this team at one time but that time has passed. Let him go 8-6 with a 4.21 ERA in Atlanta and retire next year as a Brave, where he really belongs. No hard feelings here at all. Glavine stepped it up at times and was a strong presence here and often came through when the Mets needed him, but he really has no place in NY anymore. Lastings Milledge - This kid has a lot of talent and I see him eventually becoming a kind of Garret Anderson type... but he is a million dollar talent with a ten cent head. I think New York will not be right for him. Trade him to the A's for one of their pitchers or to the Dodgers for one of theirs or make him one of the peices of a blockbuster trade if possible... but I think the kid needs to go. Let Gomez be the young outfielder to play next year. Mota - No one, and I mean NO ONE will accept him in a trade. He was beyond miserable... he was a perfect disaster. All you Yankee fans who screamed at Kyle Farnsworth all year? Farnsworth was fucking Mariano Rivera compared to Mota. The Mets need to send the message that constant failure will not be tolerated. Worst performance ever. Back in 2006 I never imagined I'd be more sickened by Mota than I used to be when Mel Rojas entered a game. Rickey Henderson - Ricky was great for Roger Cedano back in '99 but did anyone else notice that Reyes' gradual decent into lethartic play started not too long after Ricky came on board? I think that Ricky actually convinced Reyes that to "save himself" for the whole season he should occasionally "rest himself" during games... basically dogging it. Next year let him in spring training for two weeks as a baserunning instructor them get him the hell away from the younger players. Paul Lo Duca - This one was the toughest to list... I love Lo Duca's manner and would actually be happy if he returned, but after thinking about it I think that it makes more sense to have Ramon Castro be the everyday catcher next year and save the money. Lo Duca is a great clubhouse guy and a great stand up player. He's a guy to emulate and thank god David Wright seemed to take after him in attitude. I love the way he approaches that game, but in the end his numbers were not really very good. Save the money for pitching and give Castro, who hit better and threw out runners better, the everyday job.
7 - Keep the following: Moises Alou - He's not an everyday player anymore but the guy was just amazing when he played. You figure he'll miss at least 40 games to the DL and another 10-15 to just needing rest. Don't count on him as a regular. Put him in the Julio Franco role of mentor, big time pinch hitter and let him start twice a week. Think Bernie Williams circa 2005. I think he'd be invaluable. El Duque - Like Alou, keep him with the though that he will NOT be the guy you lean on as one of your top four starters. In fact, I love the idea of him as the long Relief guy, but have him in the mix as one of your possible number five starters and see what happens. Like Clemens I think Duque would benefit from a short season. Don't have him on the active roster till July. Marlon Anderson - Damn did this guy come through in big spots or WHAT? The Cardinals must be kicking themsleves and wondering what the hell woke him up. He was clutch for the Mets in 2005 and again in 2007. He thrives here. Keep him. Him and Alou gives the Mets a great duo to shape the bench around.
8 - Let the kids develop and start giving them definded roles: Let Mike Pelfrey and Philip Humber know that at least one of them will be a starter next year. Let them know the other will be a bullpen guy who will be groomed to be a major bullpen arm as a set up or possibily even a future closer down the line. Let them compete in spring training and get some youth into the pitching staff. Let Carlos Gomez and Rubin Gotay play. Give Fernando Martinez some big league time. Get this freaking team younger.
9 - Change the average attitude and get some "Wright" players in here: One guy who is a free agent this upcoming year that would be perfect for the Mets? Aaron Rowand. The guy freaking OOZES hustle. This is a player in the mode of a Lenny Dykstra. I would have LOVED a guy like Eric Byrnes to still be available. Andy Pettitte would be amazing for this team (even though the odds he'd decline the player option for the Yankees for '08 and sign with the Mets is roughly somewhere less than 0%) Shannon Stewart might be a good fit. How about Tori Hunter? I know if would create another Beltran/Cameron situation with two centerfielders out there, but it's a thought.
10 - Find a way to get Johan Santana, Roy Halladay or Roy Oswalt: The rumor is that all three are available for the right price. The Rumors also saythat right price is a King's Ransom for any of them, especially Santana. I don't frigging care. If healthy, Pedro will be a legitimate Number one (ok, maybe 1 - A is a better description) for the most part, and Maine and Perez are both very solid guys who would fall in the grey area between a #2 and #3 starting pitcher. I'd plan on one of the rookies in Pelfry and Hubner being a starter... but the Mets need a huge 1 -2 punch like Santana/Pedro or Oswalt/Pedro. It would cost something like Gomez, Hubner and Fernando Martinez just to start... but you know what? It would be worth it.
BONUS FANTASY INSANE IDEA - Ok, this is a crazy and ridculous idea... but how would this be for a total shocker? Bear with me for a second:
Sign Alex Rodriguez when (and we all know he will cause of Boras) he opts out of his Yankee contact.
Insane? Yep. Stupid? Maybe not so much. Think about it.
You would do one of two things after this move.
1 - Move David Wright to 2nd base or Left Field. He's athletic. He has good instincts. He has speed. It worked great for Edgardo Alfonzo. Wright has already stated he would be more than willing to move if the Mets ever wanted to sign A-Rod. A-Rod is a better fielder at 3rd. Hell, the Yanks have won with two straight lousy fielding second basemen in Soriano and Cano (c'mon Yankee fans, you KNOW they both are HORRIBLE fielders). Wright would be better at 2nd than either of them. Imagine a line up with Reyes, Wright, A-Rod, Beltran, Delgado and Alou in it.
OR
2 - Trade Carlos Delgado and move Wright to First. A team like the Dodgers, the Reds, The Padres, The Angels, The Orioles, The Blue Jays and the Rangers all could use a major upgrade at first base. Hell, How about Delgado, Hubner, and another player plus cash to the Jays for Halladay? Far fatched? Maybe.
All crazy right? I don't even know if I like the idea and I came up with it.
But wow... that line up. OUCH.
WOO HOO.
Anyway...
Ok, enough of that for now. So...
2007 PLAYOFF PREDICTIONS (yeah I'll do it anyway, even with the Mets out of it)
Red Sox vs. Angels: Rough one. Two really good teams. Problem is, the Sox have the Angels number in the same way the Angels have the Yanks number. Staff ace John Lackey is horrible against Boston lifetime. Close call... most likely the best series of the first round. Red Sox in five.
Yankees vs. Indians: Bronx fans think this is a layup. It's not. The Cards went 2-4 against the Padres and Mets each last year and beat both in the playoffs. The Tigers didn't do overly well against the Yanks last year in the regular season and you remember what happened there. The Indians are a good team and if the Yanks overlook them they'll be sorry. The Yanks also have seriously suspect starting pitching. It's Pettitte and Wang and pray for... um... err... Pong. Clemens isn't healthy and hasn't pitched well when he's been on the mound, Mussiana is highly suspect and Hughes/Kennedy are unknown rookie quantities. However, The Yanks are the overall stronger team and the suddenly strong bullpen will help although it will be interesting to see how Chamberlain does with the Joba rules tossed out the window. Yanks in five.
Cubs vs. Diamondbacks: Wow... no one saw the D-Backs comin did they? Everyone looked at the Dodgers and Padres and ignored Arizona and everyone paid for it. Webb has established himself in a league with Oswalt and Peavy as one of the best NL pitchers. The team is solid, if unspectacular. I freaking LOVE Eric Byrnes. He could play for my team ANYDAY. However, Sweet Lou and the Cubbies have some Karma flowin and I can feel it shaking in their direction. I see some big games out of Lee and Soriano and some good pitching out of Zambrano and Lilly. Dempster holds it together, if just barely. Cubs in four.
Phillies vs. Rockies: Gad, I hate the Phillies. This should be the Mets vs the Rockies. However, even if it was, it might not have mattered. The Rockies are firing on all cylanders and the Phils aren't playing the dregs like Washington and Florida now. The Phillies starters were doing it with mirrors the last two weeks and now that's pretty much over. The offense is great with Utley, Rowand, Rollins and Howard leading the charge, but like the Mets, this team falls into little weird inconsistant slumps and Howard is as likely to strike out three times a game as he is to hit a home run. The Rockies will ride that strong wave (that saw them go 14-1 down the stretch) through this series and the Phils will realize that the smoke and mirrors magic is gone. There's no team to collapse and hand them anything this time. Rockies in four.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Friday, September 21, 2007
I'm Too Tired for This. I'm Done.
The previous post was written when the Mets still had a 7-4 lead. Over the next 15 odd minutes I watched WIllie Randolph make bad decision after bad decision. Last night's game was lost for four reasons:
1 - Feliciano was taken out after one batter. He is a strike out pitcher and the Marlins are a free swinging team. Feliciano should have been allowed to at the LEAST pitch to the next batter.
2 - After a lousy bunt attempt in the top of the 10th, Willie did not have Gomez try and steal second. Gomez has been called "the fastest runner on the Mets" more than once, but was held until there was 2 outs and 2 strikes before he was sent. He should have been stealing within the first five pitches of the Gotay's at bat.
3 - Sosa was kept in to pitch the bottom of the 10th despite having a fairly horrible ninth inning. I would have rathered have Aaron Sele pitch the 10th. Sosa didn't even get an out before surrending the winning run.
4 - The Mets continue to pitch to Cabrera. This is reaching Pat Burrell proportions. The fucking guy beats us in almost every at bat. STOP FUCKING PITCHING TO HIM.
The fun and joy I used to have for baseball has been sucked out of me. It's not just that they are losing... it's the horrible way they're playing and are managed. It's not fun and I don't know if it's going to be fun for me anymore... at least not this year. Maybe I'll feel different in a few days, but as for now I'm not following this team anymore this year. I can't. Every game feels like a fucking knife in the chest. They cannot protect a lead so watching them consistantly blow three and four run leads is a nightmare. I'm done for this year. For all I know they'll win the whole fucking thing. Hell the 2000 Yankees, 2005 White Sox and 2006 Cardinals all played HORRIBLE baseball at the end of the season and all three almost blew their leads and all three recovered to win the world series those years... so maybe that will happen for the Mets... but if it does... I can't say I'll be watching cause this just isn't fun anymore.
And when a game makes me feel the rage I felt last night, it's time to let that game go.
The previous post was written when the Mets still had a 7-4 lead. Over the next 15 odd minutes I watched WIllie Randolph make bad decision after bad decision. Last night's game was lost for four reasons:
1 - Feliciano was taken out after one batter. He is a strike out pitcher and the Marlins are a free swinging team. Feliciano should have been allowed to at the LEAST pitch to the next batter.
2 - After a lousy bunt attempt in the top of the 10th, Willie did not have Gomez try and steal second. Gomez has been called "the fastest runner on the Mets" more than once, but was held until there was 2 outs and 2 strikes before he was sent. He should have been stealing within the first five pitches of the Gotay's at bat.
3 - Sosa was kept in to pitch the bottom of the 10th despite having a fairly horrible ninth inning. I would have rathered have Aaron Sele pitch the 10th. Sosa didn't even get an out before surrending the winning run.
4 - The Mets continue to pitch to Cabrera. This is reaching Pat Burrell proportions. The fucking guy beats us in almost every at bat. STOP FUCKING PITCHING TO HIM.
The fun and joy I used to have for baseball has been sucked out of me. It's not just that they are losing... it's the horrible way they're playing and are managed. It's not fun and I don't know if it's going to be fun for me anymore... at least not this year. Maybe I'll feel different in a few days, but as for now I'm not following this team anymore this year. I can't. Every game feels like a fucking knife in the chest. They cannot protect a lead so watching them consistantly blow three and four run leads is a nightmare. I'm done for this year. For all I know they'll win the whole fucking thing. Hell the 2000 Yankees, 2005 White Sox and 2006 Cardinals all played HORRIBLE baseball at the end of the season and all three almost blew their leads and all three recovered to win the world series those years... so maybe that will happen for the Mets... but if it does... I can't say I'll be watching cause this just isn't fun anymore.
And when a game makes me feel the rage I felt last night, it's time to let that game go.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
I Seriously Cannot Take This...
I'm starting to wonder if Willie Randolph has any clue what-so-ever on how to run a bullpen.
The Mets blew a 3 - 0 lead tonight, but managed to rally for four runs in the top of the ninth for a 7 - 4 lead. For some reason Billy Wagner is not available so Pedro Filiciano started the bottom of the ninth. He gave up a single to the first batter... and Willie pulled him.
WHAT THE FUCK!?!?
Why the hell did he pull one of his best relief pitchers after ONE batter?
I swear... I like Willie a lot... but he's a HORRIBLE decision maker when it comes to the bullpen. HORRIBLE.
The last week has been like a fucking nightmare. The Mets can't seem to win or even play decent and the Phillies can't lose and look like the 1998 Yankees.
God, I need to get a hypnotist to hypnotise me into not caring about baseball... These fucking Mets are going to be the death of me... seriously.
I'm starting to wonder if Willie Randolph has any clue what-so-ever on how to run a bullpen.
The Mets blew a 3 - 0 lead tonight, but managed to rally for four runs in the top of the ninth for a 7 - 4 lead. For some reason Billy Wagner is not available so Pedro Filiciano started the bottom of the ninth. He gave up a single to the first batter... and Willie pulled him.
WHAT THE FUCK!?!?
Why the hell did he pull one of his best relief pitchers after ONE batter?
I swear... I like Willie a lot... but he's a HORRIBLE decision maker when it comes to the bullpen. HORRIBLE.
The last week has been like a fucking nightmare. The Mets can't seem to win or even play decent and the Phillies can't lose and look like the 1998 Yankees.
God, I need to get a hypnotist to hypnotise me into not caring about baseball... These fucking Mets are going to be the death of me... seriously.
Monday, September 03, 2007
The King (Part One)
There are really only two men who I feel deserve the nickname "The King". One is Elvis Presley. The other is Jack Kirby.
Jack Kirby is famous thanks to his amazing contributions to the world of comic books. Kirby helped create Captain America, The Fantasic Four, The Hulk, The X-Men, The Silver Surfer, Dr Doom, Galactus and the Black Panther. He created, all on his own, The New Gods, Mr Miracle and Big Barda, The Forever People, Kamandi, Omac, The Demon and Darkseid.
I honestly think that without him, the rich history and culture of the comic book world would have never survived to become the huge blockbuster industry it is today. For all of the credit Stan Lee gets for creating a juggernaut with Marvel Comics, he couldn't have done it at all without Kirby.
Endless amounts of books, essays and accounts of Kirbby's life have been written. I'm really not going tobe able to add much more than the tremedous accounts written about him. All I want to do here is pay tribute to a great talent that should be remembered and respected. I'll start off with a (semi) brief history of his comic career, and then get into the stuff I really enjoyed the most from him.
Jack Kirby was born in 1917 with the name Jacob Kurtzberg and raised in The Bowery in New York. He grew up in poverty and his ticket out of the slums was his drawing ability. In 1935 he got a job with Max Fleischer Studios working on animated cartoons. He did that for about two years and in 1937 he began drawing comic strips and single-panel cartoons for a small newspaper syndicate called The Lincoln News.
At twenty years old Kirby was already outputting a large amount of work and he managed to use some different styles and use different pen names on about a half a dozen different features. Some of those features were reprinted in the comic book market, and Kirby found a new world waiting for him. Some of his work found it';s way to Fox Comics.
At Fox Comics, Kirby met a freelance writer and artist by the name of Joe Simon. The two hit it off well and started producing work together. Simon started out doing the layouts of their work together with Kirby doing the finishing, but Kirby was so much faster and seemed to understand the way comic books worked a little more, and down the line he started doing the layouts with Simon finishing.
The two worked on a number of things before hitting it big with Captain Amercia, a character they created for Timely (ie Marvel Comics) Comics in 1941.
Captian Amercia has a HUGE hit and helped Kirby and Simon to get work over at DC Comics creating The Boy Commandos.
Not long after that, he was drafted into World War II and spent the war as a soldier.
Coming in Part Two: Jack's work following the war, and the creation of some characters that went beyond anything Jack could every have imagined.
There are really only two men who I feel deserve the nickname "The King". One is Elvis Presley. The other is Jack Kirby.
Jack Kirby is famous thanks to his amazing contributions to the world of comic books. Kirby helped create Captain America, The Fantasic Four, The Hulk, The X-Men, The Silver Surfer, Dr Doom, Galactus and the Black Panther. He created, all on his own, The New Gods, Mr Miracle and Big Barda, The Forever People, Kamandi, Omac, The Demon and Darkseid.
I honestly think that without him, the rich history and culture of the comic book world would have never survived to become the huge blockbuster industry it is today. For all of the credit Stan Lee gets for creating a juggernaut with Marvel Comics, he couldn't have done it at all without Kirby.
Endless amounts of books, essays and accounts of Kirbby's life have been written. I'm really not going tobe able to add much more than the tremedous accounts written about him. All I want to do here is pay tribute to a great talent that should be remembered and respected. I'll start off with a (semi) brief history of his comic career, and then get into the stuff I really enjoyed the most from him.
Jack Kirby was born in 1917 with the name Jacob Kurtzberg and raised in The Bowery in New York. He grew up in poverty and his ticket out of the slums was his drawing ability. In 1935 he got a job with Max Fleischer Studios working on animated cartoons. He did that for about two years and in 1937 he began drawing comic strips and single-panel cartoons for a small newspaper syndicate called The Lincoln News.
At twenty years old Kirby was already outputting a large amount of work and he managed to use some different styles and use different pen names on about a half a dozen different features. Some of those features were reprinted in the comic book market, and Kirby found a new world waiting for him. Some of his work found it';s way to Fox Comics.
At Fox Comics, Kirby met a freelance writer and artist by the name of Joe Simon. The two hit it off well and started producing work together. Simon started out doing the layouts of their work together with Kirby doing the finishing, but Kirby was so much faster and seemed to understand the way comic books worked a little more, and down the line he started doing the layouts with Simon finishing.
The two worked on a number of things before hitting it big with Captain Amercia, a character they created for Timely (ie Marvel Comics) Comics in 1941.
Captian Amercia has a HUGE hit and helped Kirby and Simon to get work over at DC Comics creating The Boy Commandos.
Not long after that, he was drafted into World War II and spent the war as a soldier.
Coming in Part Two: Jack's work following the war, and the creation of some characters that went beyond anything Jack could every have imagined.
Vote for Pedro
He's got skills... you know... nunchuck skills, computer skills, pitching skills...
Pedro looked very good today. Would have looked even better had Alou not misplaced that ball in the first inning into a double... but no matter...
So... he looked very good and retired nine in a row at one point. Obviously not like the "old" Pedro... but that Pdero is gone. I'll take the 2005 version quite happily thank you.
Phillies lost again. The lead is back up to five. Only 24 games left which makes the Mets magic number eighteen. Yes, it's the first week in september... time to start figuring out magic numbers.
Crisis averted. I figure the Mets should be able to go about 16 - 8 in their last 24 games, which would give them 93 wins. They have three left with the Braves and three left with the Phillies, but also have 13 games with the Marlins and Nationals.
Hopefully Orlando Hernandez is going to be fine... add in a healthy Pedro and I like the rotation going into the playoffs.
He's got skills... you know... nunchuck skills, computer skills, pitching skills...
Pedro looked very good today. Would have looked even better had Alou not misplaced that ball in the first inning into a double... but no matter...
So... he looked very good and retired nine in a row at one point. Obviously not like the "old" Pedro... but that Pdero is gone. I'll take the 2005 version quite happily thank you.
Phillies lost again. The lead is back up to five. Only 24 games left which makes the Mets magic number eighteen. Yes, it's the first week in september... time to start figuring out magic numbers.
Crisis averted. I figure the Mets should be able to go about 16 - 8 in their last 24 games, which would give them 93 wins. They have three left with the Braves and three left with the Phillies, but also have 13 games with the Marlins and Nationals.
Hopefully Orlando Hernandez is going to be fine... add in a healthy Pedro and I like the rotation going into the playoffs.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
SWEEPING SUCCESS IN THE HOUSE OF HORRORS
...aaaaaaaaand that's three.
Wagner made it a little interesting, but held up a great performance by Glavine, and another clutch hit from David Wright.
Way for the Mets to take advantage of a miscue by Braves shortstop Escobar to let Jose Reyes get on base on what should have been an out. Wright hit a home run two batters later and that was the difference in the game.
Nice. I said it all last year and I will say it again. I love David Wright and I don't care who knows it.
Big... BIG strike out of Texiera by Heilman in the 8th. I STILL think that if Heilman pitchesd the 8th inning of thursday's game the Mets win and they would be 6 up on The Phils instead of four.
So, after being just totally smacked by the Phils, the Mets played a unreal three games in Atlanta. I'm really thinking at this point that the four game sweep forced this team to take a long look at themselves and realize it was time to pick up thepace.
The Braves and Phillies now will face each other in Atlanta for three games. This is good. The Phillies can pretty much knock the Braves out of the playoff picture overall with a sweep. The Braves could serverly damge the Phils chances with a sweep. In the end, I'd like to see the Braves win 2 out of 3 and hope the Mets take 2 of 3 from the Reds. That would basically put the phillies 6 games out and the Braves 6 1/2 games out and pretty much make the magic number about 18.
So, I surevived the weekend and the Mets righted a seriously shakey ship. Good job all around.
...aaaaaaaaand that's three.
Wagner made it a little interesting, but held up a great performance by Glavine, and another clutch hit from David Wright.
Way for the Mets to take advantage of a miscue by Braves shortstop Escobar to let Jose Reyes get on base on what should have been an out. Wright hit a home run two batters later and that was the difference in the game.
Nice. I said it all last year and I will say it again. I love David Wright and I don't care who knows it.
Big... BIG strike out of Texiera by Heilman in the 8th. I STILL think that if Heilman pitchesd the 8th inning of thursday's game the Mets win and they would be 6 up on The Phils instead of four.
So, after being just totally smacked by the Phils, the Mets played a unreal three games in Atlanta. I'm really thinking at this point that the four game sweep forced this team to take a long look at themselves and realize it was time to pick up thepace.
The Braves and Phillies now will face each other in Atlanta for three games. This is good. The Phillies can pretty much knock the Braves out of the playoff picture overall with a sweep. The Braves could serverly damge the Phils chances with a sweep. In the end, I'd like to see the Braves win 2 out of 3 and hope the Mets take 2 of 3 from the Reds. That would basically put the phillies 6 games out and the Braves 6 1/2 games out and pretty much make the magic number about 18.
So, I surevived the weekend and the Mets righted a seriously shakey ship. Good job all around.
That's Two...
Just a couple of quick comments about yesterday's game.
I said to my son Tyler yesterday early afternoon that Mike Pelfry was going to take a no-hitter into the 7th, and eventually throw eight innings of 2-hit shutout ball enroute to a 4-0 Mets win.
As Ty walked away feeling happy at that though, my oldest, Pat, asked me "Wow, you really think so?"
I said "No freaking way. I'd be estatic with 5 2/3 of 3-run ball. The Mets should've brought up Hubner or let Sosa make the start. Pelfry's most likely gonna get smacked."
Good thing I don;t make those decisions for the Mets huh?
So my "faux" prediction was almost right on target, but in relaity it was wishfuly thinking that I really didn't believe.
Pelfry was awesome. Six innings, one run. Seven strikeouts. One hit. Took a no -hitter into the 4th actually.
Mets hit well, fielded well, pitched fantastically and would have scored even more runs but had some baserunning blunders.
The Phillies lost last night and now trail the MEts by 3. The Braves were pushed back to 6 1/2 games out.
Like I said yesterday, I'd actually almost feel that being swept by the Phils would be worth it if it lead to the Mets sweeping Atlanta IN Atlanta.
Maybe this past week was a wake up call, cause the Mets have played so good and crisp the last two days that perhaps they finally realized it's time to flip that switch.
Nice job guys. Now please... show a little killer instinct and complete the sweep.
Two down... one to go.
Just a couple of quick comments about yesterday's game.
I said to my son Tyler yesterday early afternoon that Mike Pelfry was going to take a no-hitter into the 7th, and eventually throw eight innings of 2-hit shutout ball enroute to a 4-0 Mets win.
As Ty walked away feeling happy at that though, my oldest, Pat, asked me "Wow, you really think so?"
I said "No freaking way. I'd be estatic with 5 2/3 of 3-run ball. The Mets should've brought up Hubner or let Sosa make the start. Pelfry's most likely gonna get smacked."
Good thing I don;t make those decisions for the Mets huh?
So my "faux" prediction was almost right on target, but in relaity it was wishfuly thinking that I really didn't believe.
Pelfry was awesome. Six innings, one run. Seven strikeouts. One hit. Took a no -hitter into the 4th actually.
Mets hit well, fielded well, pitched fantastically and would have scored even more runs but had some baserunning blunders.
The Phillies lost last night and now trail the MEts by 3. The Braves were pushed back to 6 1/2 games out.
Like I said yesterday, I'd actually almost feel that being swept by the Phils would be worth it if it lead to the Mets sweeping Atlanta IN Atlanta.
Maybe this past week was a wake up call, cause the Mets have played so good and crisp the last two days that perhaps they finally realized it's time to flip that switch.
Nice job guys. Now please... show a little killer instinct and complete the sweep.
Two down... one to go.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Thank God.
One down, two to go.
I broke my own promise to myself, but I also realized that there was no possible way I'd be able to avoid all mentions of the score to each mets game for the entire weekend.
I managed to keep myself from the game until it was the top of the 8th. At that point the Mets were up 4-1 enroute to a 7-1 victory.
Didn't see most of the game so it's hard to comment. The bullpen looked sharp in the two innings I saw. The annoucers praised Maine and said he looked the best he's looked since early July. Delgado hit a home run. Yay.
Gotta win one more this weekend... and if they can somehow sweep, it would be huge. I'd almost say it would be worth the four ganme sweep in Philly if they could sweep the Braves this weekend.
But I'd be shocked. This is, for whatever reason, the house of horrors for the Mets.
Phillies won also. marlins look pretty bad these days. They MIGHT be able to take one game from the Phils. I hope they can.
One down, two to go.
I broke my own promise to myself, but I also realized that there was no possible way I'd be able to avoid all mentions of the score to each mets game for the entire weekend.
I managed to keep myself from the game until it was the top of the 8th. At that point the Mets were up 4-1 enroute to a 7-1 victory.
Didn't see most of the game so it's hard to comment. The bullpen looked sharp in the two innings I saw. The annoucers praised Maine and said he looked the best he's looked since early July. Delgado hit a home run. Yay.
Gotta win one more this weekend... and if they can somehow sweep, it would be huge. I'd almost say it would be worth the four ganme sweep in Philly if they could sweep the Braves this weekend.
But I'd be shocked. This is, for whatever reason, the house of horrors for the Mets.
Phillies won also. marlins look pretty bad these days. They MIGHT be able to take one game from the Phils. I hope they can.
What Teh H3LL?
Ok, I'm a fairly easy-going guy. I'm not against anyone doing their own little thing. To each his own I always say.
However, sometimes people just take things too frickin far... and there are times that people need a good kick in the pants.
Front or back.
Anyway... over the last... oh I don't know... two years or so, I've noticed a lot of internet posts on message boards or bloggers who seem to type in a... different form of languge.
Now I'm not talking about a different form of lanague like spanish or german or what not.
I'm talking about using numbers in place of letters or misspelling words on purpose or putting capitals in weird place (lIKe tHis).
At foirst I just figured it was just a matter of people not really being able to type well, and that they were too lazy to actually edit their own wrting.
Since then I've come to understand that there is an "internet languge". This "new" form of writing is called LEET SPEAK. You could call it slang or you could call it an argot.
Or you could call it idiotic.
So from what I have come to understand, "Leet" is an other way of using the term "Elite", which in itself is how hackers and computer experts (ie: Tech Geeks) like to describe themselves to the internet as a whole. Of course, this was before AOL and Optium Online let every single person with $200 and a 14.4 modum (and eventually cable modums) onto the internet. In just a few weeks, anyone who could figure out little HTML cheat sheets and had inenvertedly sent along a virus started seeing themselves as master hackers. It didn't help that Hollywood started making the Hacker seem like the "cool" side of being a Tech Geek. Suddenly Millions of kids were drinking Mountian Dew and clacking away at their keyboards looking to be the next hot new internet famous hacker.
So, these so called "master hackers" started coming up with ways to talk to each other online that would be in a "secret code" that only other master hackers would be able to reconize.
This system of writing would confound and confuse "normal schulbs" who were not "master hackers". be a secret master hacker code that only the "elite" could decypher.
And it was. For about Six and a half days.
We got "The" turned into "teh" (which a lot of people I know do anyway 'cause they can't type for shit). "Cool" became "Kewl", "Super" was "supar","Lover" became "lovr", "Software" became "Warez" ... and so on and so on.
Letters would be substituted by numbers and symbols. "a" could be "@", "B" could be "8"... you get the idea.
Hell, even "leet" which was already a term for "elite" was seen as "l33t" or "1337".
It didn't take people too long to figure out thing s like the number "3" stood for the letter "E". I mean, it's like a reversed "E" for pete's sake.. and it's RIGHT ON TOP of the friggin "E" on the keyboard. The stupid ampersand "@" still LOOKS LIKE AN "a" DAMMIT.
Like any friggin MORON couldn't figure out the "ur" is "you are".
What I want to know is, if these "master hackers" are so elite, WHY THE HELL CAN'T THEY FUCKING SPELL OR SPEAK THE ENGLISH LANGUGE?
"Elite" means to be the best of the best. The cream of the crop. To pretty much be better than EVERONE.
I fail to see how some moron who can't type the words "the" or "cool" is so fucking SUPERIOR.
IT'S FUCKING "COOL" OK? COOL! COOL, COOL, COOL! NOT "KEWL"! LEARN TO FUCKING TYPE LIKE A HUMAN BEING OR YOU SHOULD BE BEATEN TO DEATH WITH YOUR @W3SOME KEYBOARD!
No wonder eveyone thinks kids are stupid. They go online and see this MORON speak and thinks its the new wave of the "kewl" generation.
Well I have one thing to say about that.
STOP IT.
Doing things incorrectly on purpose is not ELITE. IT'S FUCKING STUPID.
GodDAMN I think everyone on earth should have to take a test once a year. The test should be made up of a mixture of intelligence, social, historical, common sense, culture, and your ability to be a productive member of society. If you pass this teat, you get a badge and a little card. You get to use this badge to get into a secret location that only people who pass the test are told about. Then you turn in the card at thhis location and you are given a TANK.
Yes, a tank. An armored vehicle with guns on it.
THEN, you get to drive the tank out into the streets. You are now allowed to RUN OVER ANYONE WHO'S NOT IN A TANK.
You see, anyone out on the street WITHOUT the tank, OBVIOUSLY failed the test. (Or were too slow to get to the hidden location and they's BEST get their asses indoors cause as a person who passed the test, they know what's coming).
You have say... eight hours with the Tank. Then you have to return it.
This would greatly reduce the number of MORONS in the world.
Children under the age of... say 18... don't take the test. Adults over the age of... say.... 60 don't either. If they're stupid but managed to get to be over 60, they get a pass anyhow.
Everyone else... WATCH OUT.
Why? Cause I'd have a TANK.
Why should they be scared?
You guessed it. Them? NO TANK.
Yes, I'm assuming I would pass the test. To tell you the truth, the test would be slated so only the REALLY moronic people would fail.
And in the end, they STILL could stay off the streets. Thus, they wouldn't get run over by a tank.
You see, going on the street without a tank is the final chance to pass the test if you failed. If you goout, you are so dumb you really need to be removed.
Wow. This spirialed a tad out of control
See what happens when the Mets play like shit? I get all cranky.
Of course, if I had my TANK I wouldn't care. Drive RIGHT OVER the entire Phillies team!
*sigh*
Where was I ?
Oh yeah.
"Leet" speakers. CUT IT OUT.
NOW.
You've been warned.
Ok, I'm a fairly easy-going guy. I'm not against anyone doing their own little thing. To each his own I always say.
However, sometimes people just take things too frickin far... and there are times that people need a good kick in the pants.
Front or back.
Anyway... over the last... oh I don't know... two years or so, I've noticed a lot of internet posts on message boards or bloggers who seem to type in a... different form of languge.
Now I'm not talking about a different form of lanague like spanish or german or what not.
I'm talking about using numbers in place of letters or misspelling words on purpose or putting capitals in weird place (lIKe tHis).
At foirst I just figured it was just a matter of people not really being able to type well, and that they were too lazy to actually edit their own wrting.
Since then I've come to understand that there is an "internet languge". This "new" form of writing is called LEET SPEAK. You could call it slang or you could call it an argot.
Or you could call it idiotic.
So from what I have come to understand, "Leet" is an other way of using the term "Elite", which in itself is how hackers and computer experts (ie: Tech Geeks) like to describe themselves to the internet as a whole. Of course, this was before AOL and Optium Online let every single person with $200 and a 14.4 modum (and eventually cable modums) onto the internet. In just a few weeks, anyone who could figure out little HTML cheat sheets and had inenvertedly sent along a virus started seeing themselves as master hackers. It didn't help that Hollywood started making the Hacker seem like the "cool" side of being a Tech Geek. Suddenly Millions of kids were drinking Mountian Dew and clacking away at their keyboards looking to be the next hot new internet famous hacker.
So, these so called "master hackers" started coming up with ways to talk to each other online that would be in a "secret code" that only other master hackers would be able to reconize.
This system of writing would confound and confuse "normal schulbs" who were not "master hackers". be a secret master hacker code that only the "elite" could decypher.
And it was. For about Six and a half days.
We got "The" turned into "teh" (which a lot of people I know do anyway 'cause they can't type for shit). "Cool" became "Kewl", "Super" was "supar","Lover" became "lovr", "Software" became "Warez" ... and so on and so on.
Letters would be substituted by numbers and symbols. "a" could be "@", "B" could be "8"... you get the idea.
Hell, even "leet" which was already a term for "elite" was seen as "l33t" or "1337".
It didn't take people too long to figure out thing s like the number "3" stood for the letter "E". I mean, it's like a reversed "E" for pete's sake.. and it's RIGHT ON TOP of the friggin "E" on the keyboard. The stupid ampersand "@" still LOOKS LIKE AN "a" DAMMIT.
Like any friggin MORON couldn't figure out the "ur" is "you are".
What I want to know is, if these "master hackers" are so elite, WHY THE HELL CAN'T THEY FUCKING SPELL OR SPEAK THE ENGLISH LANGUGE?
"Elite" means to be the best of the best. The cream of the crop. To pretty much be better than EVERONE.
I fail to see how some moron who can't type the words "the" or "cool" is so fucking SUPERIOR.
IT'S FUCKING "COOL" OK? COOL! COOL, COOL, COOL! NOT "KEWL"! LEARN TO FUCKING TYPE LIKE A HUMAN BEING OR YOU SHOULD BE BEATEN TO DEATH WITH YOUR @W3SOME KEYBOARD!
No wonder eveyone thinks kids are stupid. They go online and see this MORON speak and thinks its the new wave of the "kewl" generation.
Well I have one thing to say about that.
STOP IT.
Doing things incorrectly on purpose is not ELITE. IT'S FUCKING STUPID.
GodDAMN I think everyone on earth should have to take a test once a year. The test should be made up of a mixture of intelligence, social, historical, common sense, culture, and your ability to be a productive member of society. If you pass this teat, you get a badge and a little card. You get to use this badge to get into a secret location that only people who pass the test are told about. Then you turn in the card at thhis location and you are given a TANK.
Yes, a tank. An armored vehicle with guns on it.
THEN, you get to drive the tank out into the streets. You are now allowed to RUN OVER ANYONE WHO'S NOT IN A TANK.
You see, anyone out on the street WITHOUT the tank, OBVIOUSLY failed the test. (Or were too slow to get to the hidden location and they's BEST get their asses indoors cause as a person who passed the test, they know what's coming).
You have say... eight hours with the Tank. Then you have to return it.
This would greatly reduce the number of MORONS in the world.
Children under the age of... say 18... don't take the test. Adults over the age of... say.... 60 don't either. If they're stupid but managed to get to be over 60, they get a pass anyhow.
Everyone else... WATCH OUT.
Why? Cause I'd have a TANK.
Why should they be scared?
You guessed it. Them? NO TANK.
Yes, I'm assuming I would pass the test. To tell you the truth, the test would be slated so only the REALLY moronic people would fail.
And in the end, they STILL could stay off the streets. Thus, they wouldn't get run over by a tank.
You see, going on the street without a tank is the final chance to pass the test if you failed. If you goout, you are so dumb you really need to be removed.
Wow. This spirialed a tad out of control
See what happens when the Mets play like shit? I get all cranky.
Of course, if I had my TANK I wouldn't care. Drive RIGHT OVER the entire Phillies team!
*sigh*
Where was I ?
Oh yeah.
"Leet" speakers. CUT IT OUT.
NOW.
You've been warned.
I Don't Wanna Talk About it...
I honestly don't think I have gotten as angry in the last three years at a baseball game as I did yesterday.
I seriously lost it.
I can't even talk about it.
What the hell was Willie thinking using Wagner for a 6 out save? As it was he sat four of his starters... the game started out with no urgancy and then became a total panic job in the 8th.
Hielman should have pitched the 8th. Wagner the 9th. I honestly think we could have gotten through with a win if that had happened.
Instead, this week has been a total disaster. Anything... ANYTHING less than winning 2 out of 3 in atlanta will mean that odds are the Mets will be in 2nd place come monday morning.
After holding a 7 game lead less than opne week ago. Pathetic.
And I see the Red Sox and the rest of the AL is holding their annual choke session. No matter how well the Yankees have played the last two months, the ONLY way they could have gotten back into the playoff picture was for the Red Sox, Indians, Tigers, A's and Mariners too ALL play under .450 ball, which was basically UNHEARD OF. And what happens? EVERY ONE OF THOSE TEAMS HAVE PLAYED UNDER. 450 SINCE.
Jesus.
I'm actually sick over this. Unreal.
I need therapy. I MUST find a way to avoid baseball this weekend. I'd arther find out Monday morning what happened over the next three games. Even if they win, the stress of the games has sucked the fun out of it.
The problem is, the Mets have shown almost NO urgancy this entire season... they've strutted around like the king shits of the league because they held 1st place since day one. The thing is... this team hasn't won ANYTHING yet, and has no right to play the way they have. Outside of Reyes and Wright.. the rest of the team looks like they're waiting for the playoffs to "flip the switch"
This isn;t the '99 Yankess... this team can't play that way. They still have a LOT to prove.
Dammit. I said I didn't wanna talk about it.
Argh.
I honestly don't think I have gotten as angry in the last three years at a baseball game as I did yesterday.
I seriously lost it.
I can't even talk about it.
What the hell was Willie thinking using Wagner for a 6 out save? As it was he sat four of his starters... the game started out with no urgancy and then became a total panic job in the 8th.
Hielman should have pitched the 8th. Wagner the 9th. I honestly think we could have gotten through with a win if that had happened.
Instead, this week has been a total disaster. Anything... ANYTHING less than winning 2 out of 3 in atlanta will mean that odds are the Mets will be in 2nd place come monday morning.
After holding a 7 game lead less than opne week ago. Pathetic.
And I see the Red Sox and the rest of the AL is holding their annual choke session. No matter how well the Yankees have played the last two months, the ONLY way they could have gotten back into the playoff picture was for the Red Sox, Indians, Tigers, A's and Mariners too ALL play under .450 ball, which was basically UNHEARD OF. And what happens? EVERY ONE OF THOSE TEAMS HAVE PLAYED UNDER. 450 SINCE.
Jesus.
I'm actually sick over this. Unreal.
I need therapy. I MUST find a way to avoid baseball this weekend. I'd arther find out Monday morning what happened over the next three games. Even if they win, the stress of the games has sucked the fun out of it.
The problem is, the Mets have shown almost NO urgancy this entire season... they've strutted around like the king shits of the league because they held 1st place since day one. The thing is... this team hasn't won ANYTHING yet, and has no right to play the way they have. Outside of Reyes and Wright.. the rest of the team looks like they're waiting for the playoffs to "flip the switch"
This isn;t the '99 Yankess... this team can't play that way. They still have a LOT to prove.
Dammit. I said I didn't wanna talk about it.
Argh.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
No Runs, No Luck, No Sense...
Ouch.
That's all I can say after last night's Mets/Phillies game.
The Phillies have won TWO games now that they had no business winning. The Mets can't get out of their own way... and the bizarre interferance call that erased the tying run in the 9th was brutal. Tough to say if the call was fair. I'm obviously biased but I did not think Anderson was out of the basepath.
Right now this team is lying down and letting three straight barely average pitchers DOMINATE them. The Phillies starters outside of Cole Hammels (who is on the DL) is a joke. Their bullpen outside of Brett Myers and MAYBE Flash Gordan is a joke.
Yet the Mets haven't really scored any runs in three games.
Today's game now becomes a MUST win. To be seven games up less than a week ago and see that number reduced to two if they lose tonight might be something the team cannot recover from, especially since they have to go into Atlanta where them never seem to play well and where the Braves have completely shuffled their picthing rotation so that Smoltz and Hudson (two pitchers who have pretty much killed the Mets all year) will face them.
It's gut-check time guys. No screwing around. Win this afternoon and two out of three in Atlanta and the Crisis is averted. Lose tonight and lose two out of three in atlanta and things are in full crisis mode.
No more reteric. Just win.
Ouch.
That's all I can say after last night's Mets/Phillies game.
The Phillies have won TWO games now that they had no business winning. The Mets can't get out of their own way... and the bizarre interferance call that erased the tying run in the 9th was brutal. Tough to say if the call was fair. I'm obviously biased but I did not think Anderson was out of the basepath.
Right now this team is lying down and letting three straight barely average pitchers DOMINATE them. The Phillies starters outside of Cole Hammels (who is on the DL) is a joke. Their bullpen outside of Brett Myers and MAYBE Flash Gordan is a joke.
Yet the Mets haven't really scored any runs in three games.
Today's game now becomes a MUST win. To be seven games up less than a week ago and see that number reduced to two if they lose tonight might be something the team cannot recover from, especially since they have to go into Atlanta where them never seem to play well and where the Braves have completely shuffled their picthing rotation so that Smoltz and Hudson (two pitchers who have pretty much killed the Mets all year) will face them.
It's gut-check time guys. No screwing around. Win this afternoon and two out of three in Atlanta and the Crisis is averted. Lose tonight and lose two out of three in atlanta and things are in full crisis mode.
No more reteric. Just win.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
JOHN ROMITA, JR. RETURNS TO "AMAZING SPIDER-MAN" IN 2008
According to Comic Book Resources, John Romita, Jr will be returning to pencil the book that has made him a comic-household name. CBR News also confirmed that Dan Slott will be the writer Romita will be working with on “Amazing Spider-Man.” Additionally, Romita was able to reveal that his inker on “Amazing” is a long time friend and frequent collaborator. “Klaus Janson is the man,” Romita stated.
Cool.
I frigging LOVE Romita (loved his dad too).
There is always something comforting about a Romita doing the artwork on a Spider-Man book.
Now, if only Joe Quesada can be barred from making any editorial decisions involving Spider-Man altogether. Gad I cannot stand him.
What the Heck?
Oh God... I know the Mets signed Guillermo Mota to a two year deal. I know they have a lot invested in him.
I also know that the man hasn't been REMOTELY decent this year.
Last night really needs to be the last straw. Please, PLEASE Willie... demote Mota to mop up duty, bring Joe Smith back up and STOP misusing the bullpen like a very Joe Torre like manner.
Last night's 4-2 loss was bad... one of the worst losses the Mets have had this year. The problem lies with the team's inability to smack around two average, if not below average pitchers in Adam Eaton and J.D. Durbin, as well as Mota's inability to string together a few good appearances.
i'm not about to jump off a bridge or anything... I'm not panicking but jeez... they have to twin the next two here and win 2 of 3 from the Braves and knock both teams out of the rear view mirror for good.
Oh God... I know the Mets signed Guillermo Mota to a two year deal. I know they have a lot invested in him.
I also know that the man hasn't been REMOTELY decent this year.
Last night really needs to be the last straw. Please, PLEASE Willie... demote Mota to mop up duty, bring Joe Smith back up and STOP misusing the bullpen like a very Joe Torre like manner.
Last night's 4-2 loss was bad... one of the worst losses the Mets have had this year. The problem lies with the team's inability to smack around two average, if not below average pitchers in Adam Eaton and J.D. Durbin, as well as Mota's inability to string together a few good appearances.
i'm not about to jump off a bridge or anything... I'm not panicking but jeez... they have to twin the next two here and win 2 of 3 from the Braves and knock both teams out of the rear view mirror for good.
The Utter Decline of Modern Civilization and Sense
The following is information on the FCC's new Policy for Public Radio and Television broadcasting. My own personal comments will follow each various part in bold/Italic.
So, this past week, the FCC notified broadcasters that fines for indecent material would be increased up to ten times.
Up to ten times. TEN TIMES! That's a lot. That's like upping the cost of an ice cream push up from $1.00 to $11.00.
I don't know why I made that comparision. I just like Ice Cream push-ups.
The legislation passed the House 379-35 on Wednesday after moving through the Senate last month on a voice vote. Before this "bump", the maximum fine for so-called "indecency: was $32,500 per violation. With the increase, a single fine can now be as high as $325,000.
Three Hundred Twenty Five Thousand dollars.
For a spoken word(s). For some pictures.
Imagine if it was for something that really... ya know... HURT someone?
This penalty does not apply to cable broadcasts or to satellite broadcasts, so HBO, SHOWTIME and Howard Stern are safe.
... for now.
However, you notice... as before, the FCC has neglected to specify just what "indecent" is defined as.
According to the AP, President Bush welcomed the passage of the Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act and promised to sign it into law. He was quoted as saying: "I believe that government has a responsibility to help strengthen families.This legislation will make television and radio more family friendly by allowing the FCC to impose stiffer fines on broadcasters who air obscene or indecent programming."
Translation? "I believe that since I have managed to screw up so many things in this country in my two terms I wanted to go for even more long-reaching effects by forcing my beliefs upon you all. Don't like it? Well, next time try becoming a rich, white, privledged, born with a silver spoon in your mouth. good for nothing. Then YOU can do whatever YOU want! We need more Howdy Doody on the airwaves instead of Black Women ripping off their clothing at football games! Heh. I said Doody. That's funny stuff. Anyway, who cares about inflation, and the impossible to handle gas prices, and the out of control health care system? THIS IS WHERE THE ISSUE IS PEOPLE!"
You know... Janet Jackson's partly exposed breast didn't offend me. $3.41 for a gallon of gas... now THAT offends me.
The approval of this bill culminates a two-year drive to crack-down on "sexually explicit material" and "offensive language" on public radio and television following the Janet Jackson infamous "wardrobe malfunction" during halftime of the 2004 Super Bowl.
My question is this. Almost every time George Bush, Condoleezza Rice, Dick Cheney, Hillary Clinton, Oprah Winfey, Bill Maher and the entire cast of The View open their mouths, I'm offended. To me, that translates as what they say is Offensive. So... where is MY voice in all of this? How am *I* being protected? Can't anyone shut these idiots up?
L. Brent Bozell, President of the Parents Televison Council of People Looking to Determine What's Best for Your Kids Whether You Agree or Not (Ok, I made that last part up), remarked: "The FCC will now have the authority to impose meaningful, punitive fines when the indecency law is broken. We hope that the hefty fines will cause the multibillion-dollar broadcast networks finally to take the law seriously."
Translation? "The FCC now has an even larger platform to overstep the bounderies of which it was created for by now being able to slap down senseless penaties upon broadcasters so that the airwaves can be shaped into something that would make the Smurfs seem like child porn. I mean, look at those little blue bodies anyway... half naked... never wearing shirts... all those males and only one female? I know what's going on there at night... dirty little blueskins. Sweaty little, nasty blueskins all sweaty and nasty and sweaty and working those nasty little parts... oh yeah... nasty... work it... work it... you like that don't ya? errr... I mean... and furthermore, these penalties, despite the fact we have yet to define them at all, leaving all broadcasters completely in the dark to what actually constatutes an infraction, will help us drag the public, kicking and screaming, into a world that *we* determine is proper. Sieg Heil!"
Wow. Amazing what a little translation can do. Be afriad. Be very afriad.
"This is a victory for children and families," said Senate sponsor Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kan. The higher fines were needed, he said, "in a world saturated with violent and explicit media."
So... um.. exactly WHAT familes is this a victory for? Not *my* family. Not *my* children. Is it a victory for Senator Brownback's family? I guess it is. Look how happy *he* seems to be. Then again, he must need some excitment... Glen Miller radio broadcats and Little Orphan Annie serials can only take up *so* much of his free time.
Under FCC rules and federal law, radio and over-the-air television stations may not air obscene material at any time, and may not air indecent material between 6 a.m. and 10 p.m. when children are more likely to be in the audience.
Yeah... like my Children are up at 6 AM listening to the radio and waiting with baited breath for someone to utter the word "boobies". I'm kinda wondering... why aren't these "children" in bed at 6 am? Why aren't they in school by 9 am through 3 pm? Why aren't they in bed by 8:30 PM or so? Just what the hell are these kids doing to be able to avoid all of these things? Damn... when I was a kid I had NO freedom compared to these kids listening to the radio and watching TV non-stop between 6 AM and 10 PM. What a life kids live today.
The FCC says indecent material is that which contains sexual or excretory material that does not rise to the level of obscenity.
Translation. "ANYTHING WE WANT IT TO BE... bitch."
The legislation, while facing little resistance in Congress, had detractors warning of problems in defining what is indecent and of the erosion of First Amendment rights.
"What is at stake here is freedom of speech and whether it will be nibbled to death by election-minded politicians and self-righteous pietists," Rep. Gary Ackerman, D-N.Y (or in other words... ONE OF THE ONLY SANE MEN IN THE ROOM), said in a statement. He recalled how after the Super Bowl incident, numerous ABC affiliates refused to air the acclaimed war movie "Saving Private Ryan" because of its rough language.
This is a perfect example. God Bless Gary Ackerman.
Without having the slightest idea of what constitues "indecent", the broadcasters are forced to err WAY on the better side of caution. Thus, cutting their own legs out from under them. What if I told you I could go and find "indecent" parts of the simplest of things like SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE, TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, AND THE FAIRLY ODD PARENTS? I could you know. It's all there. At what point is the line even drawn? The FCC has the ability to go and wait three months and then fine someone for commiting a "violation" every day for that three month period and charging MILLIONS of dollars in fines that could cripple any broadcasting station... and in the end, the broadcasters hadn't the SLIGHTEST idea that they were anywhere NEAR commiting a violation. For God's sake.... this is as unconstituitonal as is gets people.
The FCC has also actively responded to the increase in complaints about lewd material over the airwaves, with total fines jumping from $440,000 in 2003 to almost $8 million in 2004.
So are we to believe that the airwaves suddenly became more "lewd" in one year? Or should we gather from that information that the FCC is jst getting totally out of control? It would be interesting to see just WHO the complaints came from and what areas they originate from.
The agency recently handed down its biggest fine, $3.3 million, against more than 100 CBS affiliates that aired an episode of the series "Without a Trace" that simulated an orgy scene. That fine is now under review.
Notice that no actual sex or nudity was shown and that the show, which is clearly NOT a show for Children, was aired at 10 PM which is not only outside of the 6 AM to 10 PM timeframe dictated by the FCC, but is also a time that any decent parent would make sure their young child (say up to 14 years old) WAS IN BED! I have a great idea. How about you fine the parents of the kids that were exposed to these shows?
Listen. I'm a parent and I worry a lot about what my kids see, hear and experiance. However, I refuse to allow someone else to choose for me what they will be exposed to. It is up to me to raise my children right so they can learn to filter out the bad shit from the good stuff. No one else has the right to make that determination. No one. Just to be safe... I have copies of CATCHER IN THE RYE, LORD OF THE FLIES, A CLOCKWORK ORANGE and other various books on hand to have my children read when they get older. There's no telling how many of these books will be "indecent" once they get of age, and I have every intention of letting them make up their OWN minds on this sort of material.
As for people like George Bush, Sen. Sam Brownback, L. Brent Bozell, American Family Association founder Don Wildmon, FCC head Honcho Kevin Martin and the other people who want to deterimine what we should be allowed to watch and listen to (and eventually read and see on the internet). I have to say... I choose not to drink your milk... you bunch of Book Burning Nazi Cows.
The following is information on the FCC's new Policy for Public Radio and Television broadcasting. My own personal comments will follow each various part in bold/Italic.
So, this past week, the FCC notified broadcasters that fines for indecent material would be increased up to ten times.
Up to ten times. TEN TIMES! That's a lot. That's like upping the cost of an ice cream push up from $1.00 to $11.00.
I don't know why I made that comparision. I just like Ice Cream push-ups.
The legislation passed the House 379-35 on Wednesday after moving through the Senate last month on a voice vote. Before this "bump", the maximum fine for so-called "indecency: was $32,500 per violation. With the increase, a single fine can now be as high as $325,000.
Three Hundred Twenty Five Thousand dollars.
For a spoken word(s). For some pictures.
Imagine if it was for something that really... ya know... HURT someone?
This penalty does not apply to cable broadcasts or to satellite broadcasts, so HBO, SHOWTIME and Howard Stern are safe.
... for now.
However, you notice... as before, the FCC has neglected to specify just what "indecent" is defined as.
According to the AP, President Bush welcomed the passage of the Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act and promised to sign it into law. He was quoted as saying: "I believe that government has a responsibility to help strengthen families.This legislation will make television and radio more family friendly by allowing the FCC to impose stiffer fines on broadcasters who air obscene or indecent programming."
Translation? "I believe that since I have managed to screw up so many things in this country in my two terms I wanted to go for even more long-reaching effects by forcing my beliefs upon you all. Don't like it? Well, next time try becoming a rich, white, privledged, born with a silver spoon in your mouth. good for nothing. Then YOU can do whatever YOU want! We need more Howdy Doody on the airwaves instead of Black Women ripping off their clothing at football games! Heh. I said Doody. That's funny stuff. Anyway, who cares about inflation, and the impossible to handle gas prices, and the out of control health care system? THIS IS WHERE THE ISSUE IS PEOPLE!"
You know... Janet Jackson's partly exposed breast didn't offend me. $3.41 for a gallon of gas... now THAT offends me.
The approval of this bill culminates a two-year drive to crack-down on "sexually explicit material" and "offensive language" on public radio and television following the Janet Jackson infamous "wardrobe malfunction" during halftime of the 2004 Super Bowl.
My question is this. Almost every time George Bush, Condoleezza Rice, Dick Cheney, Hillary Clinton, Oprah Winfey, Bill Maher and the entire cast of The View open their mouths, I'm offended. To me, that translates as what they say is Offensive. So... where is MY voice in all of this? How am *I* being protected? Can't anyone shut these idiots up?
L. Brent Bozell, President of the Parents Televison Council of People Looking to Determine What's Best for Your Kids Whether You Agree or Not (Ok, I made that last part up), remarked: "The FCC will now have the authority to impose meaningful, punitive fines when the indecency law is broken. We hope that the hefty fines will cause the multibillion-dollar broadcast networks finally to take the law seriously."
Translation? "The FCC now has an even larger platform to overstep the bounderies of which it was created for by now being able to slap down senseless penaties upon broadcasters so that the airwaves can be shaped into something that would make the Smurfs seem like child porn. I mean, look at those little blue bodies anyway... half naked... never wearing shirts... all those males and only one female? I know what's going on there at night... dirty little blueskins. Sweaty little, nasty blueskins all sweaty and nasty and sweaty and working those nasty little parts... oh yeah... nasty... work it... work it... you like that don't ya? errr... I mean... and furthermore, these penalties, despite the fact we have yet to define them at all, leaving all broadcasters completely in the dark to what actually constatutes an infraction, will help us drag the public, kicking and screaming, into a world that *we* determine is proper. Sieg Heil!"
Wow. Amazing what a little translation can do. Be afriad. Be very afriad.
"This is a victory for children and families," said Senate sponsor Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kan. The higher fines were needed, he said, "in a world saturated with violent and explicit media."
So... um.. exactly WHAT familes is this a victory for? Not *my* family. Not *my* children. Is it a victory for Senator Brownback's family? I guess it is. Look how happy *he* seems to be. Then again, he must need some excitment... Glen Miller radio broadcats and Little Orphan Annie serials can only take up *so* much of his free time.
Under FCC rules and federal law, radio and over-the-air television stations may not air obscene material at any time, and may not air indecent material between 6 a.m. and 10 p.m. when children are more likely to be in the audience.
Yeah... like my Children are up at 6 AM listening to the radio and waiting with baited breath for someone to utter the word "boobies". I'm kinda wondering... why aren't these "children" in bed at 6 am? Why aren't they in school by 9 am through 3 pm? Why aren't they in bed by 8:30 PM or so? Just what the hell are these kids doing to be able to avoid all of these things? Damn... when I was a kid I had NO freedom compared to these kids listening to the radio and watching TV non-stop between 6 AM and 10 PM. What a life kids live today.
The FCC says indecent material is that which contains sexual or excretory material that does not rise to the level of obscenity.
Translation. "ANYTHING WE WANT IT TO BE... bitch."
The legislation, while facing little resistance in Congress, had detractors warning of problems in defining what is indecent and of the erosion of First Amendment rights.
"What is at stake here is freedom of speech and whether it will be nibbled to death by election-minded politicians and self-righteous pietists," Rep. Gary Ackerman, D-N.Y (or in other words... ONE OF THE ONLY SANE MEN IN THE ROOM), said in a statement. He recalled how after the Super Bowl incident, numerous ABC affiliates refused to air the acclaimed war movie "Saving Private Ryan" because of its rough language.
This is a perfect example. God Bless Gary Ackerman.
Without having the slightest idea of what constitues "indecent", the broadcasters are forced to err WAY on the better side of caution. Thus, cutting their own legs out from under them. What if I told you I could go and find "indecent" parts of the simplest of things like SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE, TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, AND THE FAIRLY ODD PARENTS? I could you know. It's all there. At what point is the line even drawn? The FCC has the ability to go and wait three months and then fine someone for commiting a "violation" every day for that three month period and charging MILLIONS of dollars in fines that could cripple any broadcasting station... and in the end, the broadcasters hadn't the SLIGHTEST idea that they were anywhere NEAR commiting a violation. For God's sake.... this is as unconstituitonal as is gets people.
The FCC has also actively responded to the increase in complaints about lewd material over the airwaves, with total fines jumping from $440,000 in 2003 to almost $8 million in 2004.
So are we to believe that the airwaves suddenly became more "lewd" in one year? Or should we gather from that information that the FCC is jst getting totally out of control? It would be interesting to see just WHO the complaints came from and what areas they originate from.
The agency recently handed down its biggest fine, $3.3 million, against more than 100 CBS affiliates that aired an episode of the series "Without a Trace" that simulated an orgy scene. That fine is now under review.
Notice that no actual sex or nudity was shown and that the show, which is clearly NOT a show for Children, was aired at 10 PM which is not only outside of the 6 AM to 10 PM timeframe dictated by the FCC, but is also a time that any decent parent would make sure their young child (say up to 14 years old) WAS IN BED! I have a great idea. How about you fine the parents of the kids that were exposed to these shows?
Listen. I'm a parent and I worry a lot about what my kids see, hear and experiance. However, I refuse to allow someone else to choose for me what they will be exposed to. It is up to me to raise my children right so they can learn to filter out the bad shit from the good stuff. No one else has the right to make that determination. No one. Just to be safe... I have copies of CATCHER IN THE RYE, LORD OF THE FLIES, A CLOCKWORK ORANGE and other various books on hand to have my children read when they get older. There's no telling how many of these books will be "indecent" once they get of age, and I have every intention of letting them make up their OWN minds on this sort of material.
As for people like George Bush, Sen. Sam Brownback, L. Brent Bozell, American Family Association founder Don Wildmon, FCC head Honcho Kevin Martin and the other people who want to deterimine what we should be allowed to watch and listen to (and eventually read and see on the internet). I have to say... I choose not to drink your milk... you bunch of Book Burning Nazi Cows.
Who are you and what are you doing in my life?
Fatherhood.
FatherHOOD.
Sounds kind of like some sort of criminal act doesn’t it?
I wasn’t supposed to be a father you know. At the time that it came up, I was twenty-four and dreaming of a plush and adventurous lifestyle as a big time newspaper investigative reporter. My wife and I were barely married six months when she came to me and said, a matter-of-factly, “I want a baby.”
“And I want a Mustang convertible, but that doesn’t look likely in the near future now does it?” I remarked with a grin. I knew my wit would win her over and get us into the year and a half wait that I had tried to negotiate in the months before our wedding. The grin was confident and winning… or so it thought. She frowned with the ability to wilt roses that only a wife of many years can muster. I was amazed that she had mastered that frown so quickly. I tried to rally.
“How about something we’re better equipped to handle right now like an elephant instead?” I asked.
The wit wasn’t working; she held her ground. We launched into an intelligent and adult debate about it. It went something along like this:
“Baby.”
“No.”“Baby”
“No!”
“BABY DAMMIT… BABY!”
“NO! Not yet!!”
“BABY! BABY, BABY, BABY!!!!!!”
“NO! We aren’t ready!!!”
“I WANT A BABY NOW OR I WILL MAKE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE AS INHUMANLY MISERABLE AS POSSIBLE STARTING FROM THIS VERY MOMENT!”
Now how could you argue with logic like that? It’s not like she couldn’t come through on that threat, that’s for sure. You haven’t lived through hell until you’ve spent a weekend in a small one bedroom apartment with the spawn of all that’s unholy, and God knows she was prepared to play that part to the hilt. I’m sure she, of course, remembers that conversation quite differently though. In her mind, it must have gone something like this:
“Pat, it’s time to have a baby.”“Ok honey! Get’s get started!” Cue the flowery music, seg-waying into a neo-like soft core porn love scene that only could have been scripted by the world’s foremost authority on romance.
Not bloody likely.
I have to admit, the argument I was presented with wasn’t totally wrong. Christine argued that “You never have enough money to have a baby...” and in a way, she was right. It’s not like I didn’t WANT children, I just thought I (and we together) needed more time. I also wanted to have more than our present total in the bank account. A dollar thirteen cents wasn’t going to get us a nice highchair, that’s for sure.
Oh sure, you think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not. I still have the bank statement. I save it to remember the days that I had a whole dollar plus in my bank account.
Anyway, whenever I’m asked what it feels like to be a father, I remember a time I sat down with my first born son, Patrick, to discuss a few worries I had.
“Patrick,” I said settling down on the living room couch with him. “I think you’ve come to the age where we should discuss a few things. I’m concerned with the type of things available to kids via the internet and television and want to explain my feelings with you.”
Patrick looked put-out upon, but sat there and let me continue.
“The world can be a scary place and there are a lot of images and media that you just aren’t ready for. As your father, I feel it’s my place to protect you from them until you’re a bit older and able to make decisions about whether or not you wish to view or experience these things.”
He just stared at me, not saying anything. I went on.
“It’s not that all of these things are wrong, it’s just that you aren’t of the right age yet to be able to filter out the right messages from the wrong ones.”Pat titled his head a bit, still staring at me. He leaned back into the couch and rolled his eyes. I decided to finish up.
“In time you’ll be able to make your own decisions, I just felt you should know about why I’m making this decision for you at this time in your life. Ok?”
Pat laughed and threw his pacifier at my head. He was only ten months old at the time. All in all I thought it was a successful conversation.
My wife was watching, amused from the doorway.
“Very sweet thought,” she said, not trying to hide her smile. “…but I think a little premature seeing that he hasn’t even started walking yet… don’t you think?”
What the hell did I know? I would have looked up “Meaningful conversations and when to have them” in the instruction booklet, but dammit, I didn’t get one. That was my biggest complaint when my son was born. Was I taken aside and filled in on the inner secrets of parenthood? No. Was I given a handbook that covers kids from birth till the day they get a real job and stop shoving their dirty underwear into the VCR? No.
Instead, I was handed a paper suit to wear and about 30 seconds after my son was born, they plopped him in my arms and sent me down the hall. I looked up at the nurse… just what the heck was supposed to do? I looked at Pat… he looked at me… and burst out hysterical crying.
Him I mean… not me.
Although it wouldn’t have been too much of a stretch for me to follow him.
I walked down back into the room my wife had been in during the course of 20 hours of blistful labor. (At one point she told the doctor to get “your fucking hands off” her and told me that it was “all your fault” and I was “never touching me again.” She also discovered how tasty ice chips are when you’ve gone hours without eating or drinking.) I sat down into the chair next to the bed and figured I would calm my newborn son with some soft soothing singing.
Suddenly my mind went blank. I needed a soft soothing song. None would come to mind. In the space of 15 seconds a myriad of songs rushed through my head… I was like a walking advertisement for Lyrics.com… then suddenly what came out was Collective Soul.
Ok, so not exactly the first choice of singing children to sleep… but it could have been worse. Somehow I don’t know how well “Inagaddadevida” would have gone over…
The scary thing was… he stopped crying. He looked up and me with his look that basically said “Who the hell are you and where the hell am I and why the hell is it so cold out here and where the hell is my little warm mini-swimming pool I’ve been hanging out in for the last 9 months?”
I looked back and shrugged. Wouldn’t be the last time he would stump me, just the first.
“Don’t look at me kid,” I told him. “I pretty much just got here myself.”
He gave me a sympathetic look (or was is dismay? It’s so hard to tell the difference when the baby is only about 12 and a half minutes old) and suddenly realized he hadn’t finished his hysterical crying fit. He must have realized he’d be doing a lot of it over the years and wanted to get started on practice and hard training for it as early as possible. So the crying resumed, I picked another song (Pearl Jam and The Police didn’t help too much) and I realized that I needed a little help in knowing just what the heck I was going to have to do to avoid having Patrick turn out to get his head stuck in the microwave or kidnapping Penguins or what not. I needed a little booklet that would cover years One through... oh I don’t know… Twenty-Seven?
Afterwards, when they had taken him to get some sleep and my wife had also turned in for the night, I asked the nurse about the instruction booklet. I wanted to bring it home right away and get a head start on reading before picking them both up the next day. The nurse laughed and gave me a cup of water.
I was gypped.
Fatherhood.
FatherHOOD.
Sounds kind of like some sort of criminal act doesn’t it?
I wasn’t supposed to be a father you know. At the time that it came up, I was twenty-four and dreaming of a plush and adventurous lifestyle as a big time newspaper investigative reporter. My wife and I were barely married six months when she came to me and said, a matter-of-factly, “I want a baby.”
“And I want a Mustang convertible, but that doesn’t look likely in the near future now does it?” I remarked with a grin. I knew my wit would win her over and get us into the year and a half wait that I had tried to negotiate in the months before our wedding. The grin was confident and winning… or so it thought. She frowned with the ability to wilt roses that only a wife of many years can muster. I was amazed that she had mastered that frown so quickly. I tried to rally.
“How about something we’re better equipped to handle right now like an elephant instead?” I asked.
The wit wasn’t working; she held her ground. We launched into an intelligent and adult debate about it. It went something along like this:
“Baby.”
“No.”“Baby”
“No!”
“BABY DAMMIT… BABY!”
“NO! Not yet!!”
“BABY! BABY, BABY, BABY!!!!!!”
“NO! We aren’t ready!!!”
“I WANT A BABY NOW OR I WILL MAKE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE AS INHUMANLY MISERABLE AS POSSIBLE STARTING FROM THIS VERY MOMENT!”
Now how could you argue with logic like that? It’s not like she couldn’t come through on that threat, that’s for sure. You haven’t lived through hell until you’ve spent a weekend in a small one bedroom apartment with the spawn of all that’s unholy, and God knows she was prepared to play that part to the hilt. I’m sure she, of course, remembers that conversation quite differently though. In her mind, it must have gone something like this:
“Pat, it’s time to have a baby.”“Ok honey! Get’s get started!” Cue the flowery music, seg-waying into a neo-like soft core porn love scene that only could have been scripted by the world’s foremost authority on romance.
Not bloody likely.
I have to admit, the argument I was presented with wasn’t totally wrong. Christine argued that “You never have enough money to have a baby...” and in a way, she was right. It’s not like I didn’t WANT children, I just thought I (and we together) needed more time. I also wanted to have more than our present total in the bank account. A dollar thirteen cents wasn’t going to get us a nice highchair, that’s for sure.
Oh sure, you think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not. I still have the bank statement. I save it to remember the days that I had a whole dollar plus in my bank account.
Anyway, whenever I’m asked what it feels like to be a father, I remember a time I sat down with my first born son, Patrick, to discuss a few worries I had.
“Patrick,” I said settling down on the living room couch with him. “I think you’ve come to the age where we should discuss a few things. I’m concerned with the type of things available to kids via the internet and television and want to explain my feelings with you.”
Patrick looked put-out upon, but sat there and let me continue.
“The world can be a scary place and there are a lot of images and media that you just aren’t ready for. As your father, I feel it’s my place to protect you from them until you’re a bit older and able to make decisions about whether or not you wish to view or experience these things.”
He just stared at me, not saying anything. I went on.
“It’s not that all of these things are wrong, it’s just that you aren’t of the right age yet to be able to filter out the right messages from the wrong ones.”Pat titled his head a bit, still staring at me. He leaned back into the couch and rolled his eyes. I decided to finish up.
“In time you’ll be able to make your own decisions, I just felt you should know about why I’m making this decision for you at this time in your life. Ok?”
Pat laughed and threw his pacifier at my head. He was only ten months old at the time. All in all I thought it was a successful conversation.
My wife was watching, amused from the doorway.
“Very sweet thought,” she said, not trying to hide her smile. “…but I think a little premature seeing that he hasn’t even started walking yet… don’t you think?”
What the hell did I know? I would have looked up “Meaningful conversations and when to have them” in the instruction booklet, but dammit, I didn’t get one. That was my biggest complaint when my son was born. Was I taken aside and filled in on the inner secrets of parenthood? No. Was I given a handbook that covers kids from birth till the day they get a real job and stop shoving their dirty underwear into the VCR? No.
Instead, I was handed a paper suit to wear and about 30 seconds after my son was born, they plopped him in my arms and sent me down the hall. I looked up at the nurse… just what the heck was supposed to do? I looked at Pat… he looked at me… and burst out hysterical crying.
Him I mean… not me.
Although it wouldn’t have been too much of a stretch for me to follow him.
I walked down back into the room my wife had been in during the course of 20 hours of blistful labor. (At one point she told the doctor to get “your fucking hands off” her and told me that it was “all your fault” and I was “never touching me again.” She also discovered how tasty ice chips are when you’ve gone hours without eating or drinking.) I sat down into the chair next to the bed and figured I would calm my newborn son with some soft soothing singing.
Suddenly my mind went blank. I needed a soft soothing song. None would come to mind. In the space of 15 seconds a myriad of songs rushed through my head… I was like a walking advertisement for Lyrics.com… then suddenly what came out was Collective Soul.
Ok, so not exactly the first choice of singing children to sleep… but it could have been worse. Somehow I don’t know how well “Inagaddadevida” would have gone over…
The scary thing was… he stopped crying. He looked up and me with his look that basically said “Who the hell are you and where the hell am I and why the hell is it so cold out here and where the hell is my little warm mini-swimming pool I’ve been hanging out in for the last 9 months?”
I looked back and shrugged. Wouldn’t be the last time he would stump me, just the first.
“Don’t look at me kid,” I told him. “I pretty much just got here myself.”
He gave me a sympathetic look (or was is dismay? It’s so hard to tell the difference when the baby is only about 12 and a half minutes old) and suddenly realized he hadn’t finished his hysterical crying fit. He must have realized he’d be doing a lot of it over the years and wanted to get started on practice and hard training for it as early as possible. So the crying resumed, I picked another song (Pearl Jam and The Police didn’t help too much) and I realized that I needed a little help in knowing just what the heck I was going to have to do to avoid having Patrick turn out to get his head stuck in the microwave or kidnapping Penguins or what not. I needed a little booklet that would cover years One through... oh I don’t know… Twenty-Seven?
Afterwards, when they had taken him to get some sleep and my wife had also turned in for the night, I asked the nurse about the instruction booklet. I wanted to bring it home right away and get a head start on reading before picking them both up the next day. The nurse laughed and gave me a cup of water.
I was gypped.
I Assure You, We are OPEN
I've had this "blog" here for some time... I just haven't had any time to get to publishing anything on it. Hopefully this will be changing... or at least I'll dedicate some time towards it at least. Until then, I'll post a few of my "greatest hits" from my older blog from myspace.
Yeah, I'm on myspace. Guilty pleasure, although I haven't been on it much the last few months.
I've had this "blog" here for some time... I just haven't had any time to get to publishing anything on it. Hopefully this will be changing... or at least I'll dedicate some time towards it at least. Until then, I'll post a few of my "greatest hits" from my older blog from myspace.
Yeah, I'm on myspace. Guilty pleasure, although I haven't been on it much the last few months.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
