Rocket Ramblings

What Teh H3LL?

Ok, I'm a fairly easy-going guy. I'm not against anyone doing their own little thing. To each his own I always say.

However, sometimes people just take things too frickin far... and there are times that people need a good kick in the pants.

Front or back.

Anyway... over the last... oh I don't know... two years or so, I've noticed a lot of internet posts on message boards or bloggers who seem to type in a... different form of languge.

Now I'm not talking about a different form of lanague like spanish or german or what not.

I'm talking about using numbers in place of letters or misspelling words on purpose or putting capitals in weird place (lIKe tHis).

At foirst I just figured it was just a matter of people not really being able to type well, and that they were too lazy to actually edit their own wrting.

Since then I've come to understand that there is an "internet languge". This "new" form of writing is called LEET SPEAK. You could call it slang or you could call it an argot.

Or you could call it idiotic.

So from what I have come to understand, "Leet" is an other way of using the term "Elite", which in itself is how hackers and computer experts (ie: Tech Geeks) like to describe themselves to the internet as a whole. Of course, this was before AOL and Optium Online let every single person with $200 and a 14.4 modum (and eventually cable modums) onto the internet. In just a few weeks, anyone who could figure out little HTML cheat sheets and had inenvertedly sent along a virus started seeing themselves as master hackers. It didn't help that Hollywood started making the Hacker seem like the "cool" side of being a Tech Geek. Suddenly Millions of kids were drinking Mountian Dew and clacking away at their keyboards looking to be the next hot new internet famous hacker.

So, these so called "master hackers" started coming up with ways to talk to each other online that would be in a "secret code" that only other master hackers would be able to reconize.

This system of writing would confound and confuse "normal schulbs" who were not "master hackers". be a secret master hacker code that only the "elite" could decypher.

And it was. For about Six and a half days.

We got "The" turned into "teh" (which a lot of people I know do anyway 'cause they can't type for shit). "Cool" became "Kewl", "Super" was "supar","Lover" became "lovr", "Software" became "Warez" ... and so on and so on.

Letters would be substituted by numbers and symbols. "a" could be "@", "B" could be "8"... you get the idea.

Hell, even "leet" which was already a term for "elite" was seen as "l33t" or "1337".

It didn't take people too long to figure out thing s like the number "3" stood for the letter "E". I mean, it's like a reversed "E" for pete's sake.. and it's RIGHT ON TOP of the friggin "E" on the keyboard. The stupid ampersand "@" still LOOKS LIKE AN "a" DAMMIT.

Like any friggin MORON couldn't figure out the "ur" is "you are".

What I want to know is, if these "master hackers" are so elite, WHY THE HELL CAN'T THEY FUCKING SPELL OR SPEAK THE ENGLISH LANGUGE?

"Elite" means to be the best of the best. The cream of the crop. To pretty much be better than EVERONE.

I fail to see how some moron who can't type the words "the" or "cool" is so fucking SUPERIOR.

IT'S FUCKING "COOL" OK? COOL! COOL, COOL, COOL! NOT "KEWL"! LEARN TO FUCKING TYPE LIKE A HUMAN BEING OR YOU SHOULD BE BEATEN TO DEATH WITH YOUR @W3SOME KEYBOARD!

No wonder eveyone thinks kids are stupid. They go online and see this MORON speak and thinks its the new wave of the "kewl" generation.

Well I have one thing to say about that.

STOP IT.

Doing things incorrectly on purpose is not ELITE. IT'S FUCKING STUPID.

GodDAMN I think everyone on earth should have to take a test once a year. The test should be made up of a mixture of intelligence, social, historical, common sense, culture, and your ability to be a productive member of society. If you pass this teat, you get a badge and a little card. You get to use this badge to get into a secret location that only people who pass the test are told about. Then you turn in the card at thhis location and you are given a TANK.

Yes, a tank. An armored vehicle with guns on it.

THEN, you get to drive the tank out into the streets. You are now allowed to RUN OVER ANYONE WHO'S NOT IN A TANK.

You see, anyone out on the street WITHOUT the tank, OBVIOUSLY failed the test. (Or were too slow to get to the hidden location and they's BEST get their asses indoors cause as a person who passed the test, they know what's coming).

You have say... eight hours with the Tank. Then you have to return it.

This would greatly reduce the number of MORONS in the world.

Children under the age of... say 18... don't take the test. Adults over the age of... say.... 60 don't either. If they're stupid but managed to get to be over 60, they get a pass anyhow.

Everyone else... WATCH OUT.

Why? Cause I'd have a TANK.

Why should they be scared?

You guessed it. Them? NO TANK.

Yes, I'm assuming I would pass the test. To tell you the truth, the test would be slated so only the REALLY moronic people would fail.

And in the end, they STILL could stay off the streets. Thus, they wouldn't get run over by a tank.

You see, going on the street without a tank is the final chance to pass the test if you failed. If you goout, you are so dumb you really need to be removed.

Wow. This spirialed a tad out of control

See what happens when the Mets play like shit? I get all cranky.

Of course, if I had my TANK I wouldn't care. Drive RIGHT OVER the entire Phillies team!

*sigh*


Where was I ?

Oh yeah.

"Leet" speakers. CUT IT OUT.

NOW.

You've been warned.