And, from the "too bizarre to not be true" file: Spiderman: The Broadway Show.No, I'm not kidding.
No, I did not do a mock up.
Yes, I'm serious.
No, I have no idea what they were thinking.
This... this... MONSTROSITY will premeire on February 18th, 2010.
The following was posted on the Marvel.com website:
"Mark your calendars now, thwippers, “Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark” opens on Thursday, February 18, 2010 at Broadway’s Hilton Theatre, 213 West 42nd Street. And some lucky Broadway goers will get to see the show when preview performances begin Saturday, January 16, 2010."
Thwippers? Did they ACTUALLY call people 'thwippers'? My God, it sounds like Elmer Fudd in a strip joint.
I knew that Marvel was a shameless company always looking for it's next cash grab, but a Spider-Man MUSICAL? On Broadway?
Really?
It made sense for the Lion King and Beauty and The Beast... cause... ya know... they were ALREADY musicals.
But Spider-Man?
Really? (Thwippers?)
This is a... a... a...
Really?
Ok, deep breath.
Does anyone else remember the old "Spider-Man Rockomic"?
I do. I listened to is fondly when i was seven.
And stopped listening to it when I was... like... nine.
I'm not too sure I get this. You see, for the most part Superheroes are aimed towards younger kids. Yes, both boys and girls, but on average many mainstream comic books and superheroes are looking to grab the attention of boys.
And of course, the fanboy adults that read comics as kids and continue to do so. I mean, most comics these days are more geared towards adults than kids anyway.
What I'm trying to do, however, is see where a Broadway musical motiff works into that aim.
I'm already cringing at the thought of the song lyrics:
"Power and responsibility!
That's the most important thing for me!
I will stop the villain YOU WILL SEE!
Because I have power and responsibility!"
Nice right?
NO IT'S NOT! I came up with that in 12 seconds. AND ODDS ARE THERE WILL BE A VERY SIMULAR SET OF LYRICS SOMEWHERE IN THIS THING!
Oh God, now it's stuck in my head.
For pete's sake (heh... pete... Peter Parker. Get it? It's a pun. Spider-Man's real na... OH FORGET IT) Marvel can't get a lousy Saturday morning Cartoon right... they're going to get a BROADWAY MUSICAL to fly?
What's the demographic for this thing?
(Thwippers?)
Ok, Bono and The Edge are doing the music and lyrics it shouldn't be as bad as my lyric sample above... but... I just can't wrap my head around this.
There's going to be a Dance/fight scene. I know it. I KNOW IT!
Imagine the "knife fight" from Michael Jackson's "Beat It" video, only have it between Spider-Man and The Green Goblin. Or the "fight scene" from West Side Story. Great. Spider-Man will come down an alley snapping his fingers and sccidentally spray web fluid all over the place. Cue the "Wah, wah, wah" trumpet and the canned laughter.
Oh God.
(Thwippers? Really?)
*SIGH*
This is a bad idea. It's going to be a train wreck. I know it. Remember Twilight Express or Legs Diamond (and why the hell do I know about either one of those? John C is our resident broadway expert...)? Well, this is going to make both of them look like Les Miserables. I just know it.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this will be ok. Some cool music from Bono and the Edge... maybe an actor who can pull off the Superhero/dance and sing thing like Hugh Jackman can... some non-cheesy special effects, a good script... it could be ok... right?
Right?
Anyone?
Anyone?
Bueller?
OH GOD... IT'S GOING TO BE A DISASTER OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS.
Do you know why the Spider-Man movies worked? Why the first two X-Men flicks were so good? Why Batman Begins and The Dark Knight were so amazing? Why Iron Man was great?
Because they were done by people who understood the characters, the mood and had an ability to balance taking itself seriously but with the right amount of realism and humor to keep from being stuffy or campy.
What are the odds that a Broadway producer/director will go in that sort of direction? Well... I honestly don't know. Like I said above, John Castro is the broadway expert. Not me. I'll have to ask him what he thinks. However, I think the odds are not too good that we'll avoid the glitter and pomp and circumstance of a big time flashy, Broadway scene.
And then it'll be more like Catwoman or Steel than Spider-Man the movie.
So, lock the doors, put out the cat, get the kids in bed...
Spider-Man is coming to broadway. God help us all.
And I STILL have that stupid song stuck in my head!
No, I have no idea what they were thinking.
This... this... MONSTROSITY will premeire on February 18th, 2010.
The following was posted on the Marvel.com website:
"Mark your calendars now, thwippers, “Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark” opens on Thursday, February 18, 2010 at Broadway’s Hilton Theatre, 213 West 42nd Street. And some lucky Broadway goers will get to see the show when preview performances begin Saturday, January 16, 2010."
Thwippers? Did they ACTUALLY call people 'thwippers'? My God, it sounds like Elmer Fudd in a strip joint.
I knew that Marvel was a shameless company always looking for it's next cash grab, but a Spider-Man MUSICAL? On Broadway?
Really?
It made sense for the Lion King and Beauty and The Beast... cause... ya know... they were ALREADY musicals.
But Spider-Man?
Really? (Thwippers?)
This is a... a... a...
Really?
Ok, deep breath.Does anyone else remember the old "Spider-Man Rockomic"?
I do. I listened to is fondly when i was seven.
And stopped listening to it when I was... like... nine.
I'm not too sure I get this. You see, for the most part Superheroes are aimed towards younger kids. Yes, both boys and girls, but on average many mainstream comic books and superheroes are looking to grab the attention of boys.
And of course, the fanboy adults that read comics as kids and continue to do so. I mean, most comics these days are more geared towards adults than kids anyway.
What I'm trying to do, however, is see where a Broadway musical motiff works into that aim.
I'm already cringing at the thought of the song lyrics:
"Power and responsibility!
That's the most important thing for me!
I will stop the villain YOU WILL SEE!
Because I have power and responsibility!"
Nice right?
NO IT'S NOT! I came up with that in 12 seconds. AND ODDS ARE THERE WILL BE A VERY SIMULAR SET OF LYRICS SOMEWHERE IN THIS THING!
Oh God, now it's stuck in my head.
For pete's sake (heh... pete... Peter Parker. Get it? It's a pun. Spider-Man's real na... OH FORGET IT) Marvel can't get a lousy Saturday morning Cartoon right... they're going to get a BROADWAY MUSICAL to fly?
What's the demographic for this thing?
(Thwippers?)
Ok, Bono and The Edge are doing the music and lyrics it shouldn't be as bad as my lyric sample above... but... I just can't wrap my head around this.
There's going to be a Dance/fight scene. I know it. I KNOW IT!
Imagine the "knife fight" from Michael Jackson's "Beat It" video, only have it between Spider-Man and The Green Goblin. Or the "fight scene" from West Side Story. Great. Spider-Man will come down an alley snapping his fingers and sccidentally spray web fluid all over the place. Cue the "Wah, wah, wah" trumpet and the canned laughter.
Oh God.
(Thwippers? Really?)
*SIGH*
This is a bad idea. It's going to be a train wreck. I know it. Remember Twilight Express or Legs Diamond (and why the hell do I know about either one of those? John C is our resident broadway expert...)? Well, this is going to make both of them look like Les Miserables. I just know it.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this will be ok. Some cool music from Bono and the Edge... maybe an actor who can pull off the Superhero/dance and sing thing like Hugh Jackman can... some non-cheesy special effects, a good script... it could be ok... right?
Right?
Anyone?
Anyone?
Bueller?
OH GOD... IT'S GOING TO BE A DISASTER OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS.
Do you know why the Spider-Man movies worked? Why the first two X-Men flicks were so good? Why Batman Begins and The Dark Knight were so amazing? Why Iron Man was great?
Because they were done by people who understood the characters, the mood and had an ability to balance taking itself seriously but with the right amount of realism and humor to keep from being stuffy or campy.
What are the odds that a Broadway producer/director will go in that sort of direction? Well... I honestly don't know. Like I said above, John Castro is the broadway expert. Not me. I'll have to ask him what he thinks. However, I think the odds are not too good that we'll avoid the glitter and pomp and circumstance of a big time flashy, Broadway scene.
And then it'll be more like Catwoman or Steel than Spider-Man the movie.
So, lock the doors, put out the cat, get the kids in bed...
Spider-Man is coming to broadway. God help us all.
And I STILL have that stupid song stuck in my head!
3 comments:
ok... so another unremarkable theatrical event.
Between all the remakes in the movies, TV and now Theater, this really isn't all that surprising. More annoying. What is worse is that anyone will spend hard earned money to see this. I would much rather see people putting pen to paper and create something incredible and original. Pat you think you are to the task?
People WILL go though. Times are lean, and folks traveling to NYC for a vacation want the most bang for their buck. And as always, the things that bang loudest are those that are aimed at kids. This show will be a huge event. Serious theater-goers will sniff at it, but it's all about economics these days and how many tickets you can sell.
Now all we need is a radio-Spider-man show, a streaming-only cartoon for itunes or something and probably a collection of young reader books too! Then Spidey will have the whole package!
I was even more surprised with Evil Dead - the musical! What's up with all these theatrical takes lately...!
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